Time itself is a lie

It’s here again: Auld Lang Syne, the new year. It’s a time for most people to lie to themselves, with good intent. Resolutions such as losing weight, reading more, following through on plans, etc abound. Gyms fill for about a month, then revert to their normal business. Self help books fly off the shelves. And, people give up smoking for the 50th time. Even though most, actually, enter the period of resolution with the intention to follow through, it all turns out to be a lie perpetrated on oneself. But, this is understandable since New years day is a fabrication. It’s true, Time itself is a lie.

The world works on a calendar invented 3 centuries after the official start date. And, the start date is still a question, to this day. Although, it does track the solar and lunar cycles relatively accurately. Each year is a full solar cycle of the Earth revolving around the sun. And, each month tracks the moon revolving around the Earth. But, it requires periodic adjustments. We have leap years every 4 years because a solar cycle actually takes 365 days, 5 hours, 49 minutes, and 12 seconds, approximately 365.25 days. In reality, it’s 365. 2425; hence, even the leap years aren’t accurate. So, some years we actually skip leap years. 2000 was a leap year. But, 1700, 1800, and 1900 weren’t. Additionally, due to the small fraction accumulated over the centuries, every 400 years, we end up 3 days short.

How do we know Time itself is a lie?

Then there’s the pesky start date. You may be familiar with the initials BC, AD, BCE, and CE. The calendar that we use is called the Gregorian calendar. The name derives from Pope Gregory XIII, who declared this the official calendar in 1582. You may say that’s pretty recent for a calendar dating back 2000 years. This is true. The Gregorian calendar adjusted the Julian Calendar, instated a couple centuries after the time of Julius Caesar (the Calendar’s namesake) and the time of Jesus Christ. At the time, Romans worshiped a host of gods. And, Jesus, with his monotheistic interpretation of what God is, threatened the very existence of the empire. Over the next 200 to 300 years, Rome came to embrace the teachings of Jesus, but altered it to incorporate some of their old worship rights and concepts.

So, the calendar created by clerics of the council of Nicaea, in 325 AD, incorporated Christian and Roman Elements. First, the start date. The Symbol AD mean Anno Domini (year of our lord). And, BC means Before Christ. But, no one actually knows when Jesus was born. There are competing theories on how the date was decided. The most plausible, and in line with the time that the calendar was designed, is that they superimposed the life of the Roman sun god Sol Invictus onto Jesus. Using solar schedules, they predicted that Jesus would have been conceived around the Vernal equinox, and born 9 months later at the Winter solstice. So, the date of December 25 became his birthday, even though some say he was actually born in the spring. To further complicate things, Herod was king at the time of Jesus Birth. But, he died 4 BC.

If BC was before Christ, the calendar should actually start 4 to 6 years earlier.

So, the whole thing is a lie. Plus, look at the names of the months. We end with Sept, Oct, Nov, and Dec-ember. Those are Latin for 7, 8, 9, and 10. But, there are 12 months. Shouldn’t it be DuoDecim-ber? And, the first 8 months are named after Roman Gods and Emperors: July for Julius and August for Agustus Caesar, January for Janus, March for Mars, etc. We have a start date based on conjecture, and names derived from the mythology of a defunct ruling class. Plus, there’s the inaccuracy of the whole calendar. This flaw is baked into the invention of the calendar because the start date is obviously way off, especially since they specifically evoke the name of Christ in The BC and AD nomenclature.

There has been some pushback over the centuries. But, nothing that sticks. In recent years, the abbreviations CE and BCE regained favor. These terms date to the 1700’s by Jewish scholars offended by the reference to Jesus. CE = Common or Current Era, and, BCE stands for Before Common Era. Academics prefer this labeling because it takes out religious references. But, either is acceptable. Still, it doesn’t actually challenge time itself. And, if Einstein taught us nothing else, time is relative. And, our time derives from our relationship to the sun and the moon. Your clock and calendar would tell a different story on Jupiter or some far flung star in the milky way. You would soon see that time itself is a lie that only works in one context.

And, how about watches and clocks?

We live and die by our watches and clocks. We try to beat the clock, we race against, cherish, fear, delay, waste, and kill time every day. But, why is the tick tock of a clock so intimidating? And, how accurate is our actual time? Time keeping devices have evolved a long way from sun dials through hour glasses, water based devices, pendulum measurements, to our modern digital computations that promise unparalleled accuracy. Now that we have these super accurate devices, it’s even more evident that the calendar is way off. If we measured time by sun dials, how can we be sure of any kind of precision? If there were rain, would anyone record the time and day?

Nicaea Demonstrates that Time itself is a lie

We mentioned The Council of Nicaea earlier. They represented the power of Rome merged with the populism of followers of Jesus. After Jesus passed, his followers started a new religion based on his teachings. This threatened the control of the Roman Empire. Christians were persecuted and hunted. But, they stuck together for centuries. Finally, Rome decided instead of getting rid of Christians, they would harness the energy of his followers. Forward thinking people shifted their religious outlook to abandon the “old gods” and accept one “almighty” God, as a more powerful tool to control the masses. Remember, the Roman empire was pretty expansive at the time. They held dominion over everything from the British Isles, through Europe to North Africa. It was easier to get people to believe in One Superior being than a panoply of lesser gods.

So, once they consolidated their power to fall in line with a message that they could sell to the masses, they sat down to parse out what was and wasn’t part of the doctrine (AKA propaganda). Enter the Council of Nicaea. The Emperor Constantine invited 800 bishops to come together. About 300 men actually ended up at the meeting. Here, they hashed out what was and wasn’t to be included in the Roman Catholic faith. They included and banned many books. The whole thing was calculated to maintain control of the people. So, a lot of the brimstone and fire rhetoric gained favor, since nothing keeps people in line like fear. They also took time to declare the Julian Calendar the world standard.

But, don’t fret

This all sounds ominous, devious, and scary. But, it doesn’t take away the usefulness of time as we know it. Despite a nefarious inception, and dubious accuracy, it is the best system we’ve got. So, we’re off by about a day every hundred years. Big deal. Most of us won’t live to see the next correction. Perhaps this is the year you actually follow through on your resolutions. Sure, it’s a random time to make a resolution. You could pick a solstice or Equinox for your resolution day. Financial planners tell you the best time to start planning is years ago. The second best time is right now. Even though time itself is a lie, resolving to do something doesn’t have to be.

So, change your diet, do some exercise, write that book, get that new job. If a group of 300 men could change the way the world measures time, you can do whatever it is you want. Last year, we suggested you create your own calendar based on personal choices. The day you make or instate your resolution will be the beginning. Anything preceding will be BTD (before this day). Anything after is ATD (After this day). We stand by that recommendation this year. This way, you can still use everyone else’s time measurement, especially since it puts us all on the same page; but, keep your own time with personal dates to revolve around.

And, don’t forget, although time itself is a lie, it tells us when it’s time to eat drink, and when your food is done. So, instead of fighting time, Let’s use this new year to use time to our advantage.

It’s time to celebrate with food and drink. And, we have you covered:

Here’s to Auld Lang Syne!

Bourbon Blueberry Minted Mimosa

cheffd

Print Recipe

Prep Time 10 minutes mins

Course Drinks

Cuisine American, French

Servings 4 Cocktails

Ingredients

  

• 1 Cup Fresh Blueberries
• 2 Cup Orange Juice, preferably fresh squeezed
• 2 Cup Champagne or sparkling wine
• 4 Oz Bourbon
• 1 Oz maple Syrup
• 2 Tbsp Fresh Mint Leaves
• Oranges, blueberries and mint to garnish
• Turbinado Sugar to rim glasses

Instructions

 

• Place blueberries, maple, and mint in a pitcher. Muddle together with a muddling stick or wooden spoon. Mix until flavors are well blended.
• Add in the remaining ingredients except garnish. Stir to mix flavors.
• Dip the rims of 4 champagne glasses in water and dip them in turbinado sugar. Pour the drink into each glass. garnish with oranges, blueberries, and mint. Enjoy.

Keyword barbecue, blueberry, Bourbon, Brunch, Champagne, Holiday, Mimosa, Mint, orange, Sparkling wine

Bleu Cheese Mousse tart with Port Poached Pear

cheffd

Print Recipe

Prep Time 20 minutes mins

Cook Time 1 hour hr

Course Appetizer, Dessert

Cuisine American, French

Servings 24 Mini Tarts

Ingredients

  

• For tart shell:
• 1 Cup Flour
• 1/2 Cup Chilled Butter
• 1 large Egg yolk
• 1 Tbsp Sugar
• 2 Tbsp Cold Water
• 1/2 tsp Salt
• For Blue Cheese Mousse
• 1/2 Lb Soft Blue Cheese
• 1/2 Lb Cream Cheese
• 1/4 Cup Honey
• 1 Tbsp Sour Cream
• For Poached Pear:
• 2 to 3 Medium Fresh Pears
• 1 Bottle Port Wine
• 1 Cup Sugar
• 2 Each Cinnamon Sticks
• 1 Each Fresh Orange
• 2 Tbsp Sliced Fresh Ginger
• 1 Each Vanilla Bean, split

Instructions

 

• Make the tart shells: Chop the butter into pea sized pieces. Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl. Then mix the butter in with the flour mix until it begins to form a dough. Add in the water and egg yolk. Continue kneading until a solid dough forms. Allow to rest for at least 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Then, roll out and place the dough into miniature rounds. Place in tart baking pans. You can do minis or a large. For our purposes, we prefer mini. Poke the bottoms of the shells with a fork. Bake the shells for about 20 minutes until golden brown. You may want to blind bake by lining the shells with foil and weighing that down with dry beans or rice. When baked, remove from oven and allow to completely cool.
• Poach the pears: Peel and core the pears. Cut them in half for the poaching. Place all ingredients except pears into a pot and bring to a boil. Allow the sugar to completely melt. Then, place the pears in the liquid and bring to a simmer. Allow the fruit to soften, yet maintain a bit of a crunch. Check after about 15 minutes. They should be done. Give a little more time if necessary. Remove the cooked pears from the liquid. Then, continue cooking the liquid down until it becomes a thick syrup. You will drizzle this on the final tart.
• make the Mousse: Puree the bleu cheese until smooth, with few chunks. This can be done in a food processor or mixing bowl. Whip the cream cheese in a stand mixer and fold in the remaining ingredients. It should be fluffy. Be careful not to overwhip or it will become too loose.
• Assemble: Cut the pears into appropriate size for the tarts. Pipe the mousse into the shells using a pastry bar with or without a tip. Top with the poached pears and drizzle or brush on the port syrup. Serve immediately or refrigerate for later use.

Keyword Appetizer, Bleu Cheese, dessert, Mousse, pastry, Pear, Poached, Port, red wine, Tart

Vegan Maple Johnny Cakes with Cranberry Relish

cheffd

Print Recipe

Prep Time 30 minutes mins

Cook Time 30 minutes mins

Course Appetizer

Cuisine American

Ingredients

  

• 1 cup Corn Meal
• 1 t sugar in the raw
• 1 T Maple Syrup
• 1/2 t kosher or sea salt
• 1 Cup Boiling Water
• 2 T Melted Coconut Oil
• 1/2 cup Almond or coconut Milk
• oil for cooking in the pan
• For the Cranberry Relish
• 1 cup fresh or frozen cranberries
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 each cinnamon stick
• 1 cup Orange Juice
• 1/2 t vanilla extract
• 1 sprig fresh Thyme (optional)
• To Top
• Vegan sour cream or a creamy topping of your choice

Instructions

 

• First, Make the Cranberry Relish. This should be done ahead of time. Combine cranberries, sugar, juice, cinnamon, vanilla, and thyme (if using) in a pot. Bring to a boil, then turn back to a simmer. Cook until liquid is absorbed, cranberries are soft, and the sweetness is right. Adjust liquid and sugar if needed.
• Whisk all the ingredients except water and milk in a large mixing bowl and slowly add in the boiling water. Fold in the "milk" to create a pour-able batter.
• Heat oil in a non stick pan or on a griddle. Spoon on the batter in disks about the size of a quarter. Cook on one side about 1 minute and flip. They should have a golden brown hue.
• Serve hot topped with a dolop of cranberry relish and vegan sour cream or creme fraiche.

Keyword Vegan, maple, johnny cakes, cranberry, New England