Ain’t no Jesus on Easter Island
40 days after Mardi Gras and ash Wednesday, Christians celebrate the resurrection of Christ. And, on April 5, 1722, Dutch explorers landed on a remote Island 2,000 miles off the coast of Chile. Even though people had lived there for thousands of years, these Christian explorers named the Island after the day they landed there: Easter. What followed was a decimation of the native population. Between European diseases and a proliferation of slavers, They went from between 2,000 and 3,000 people to about 100. This doesn’t sound very “Christian”. They may have found about 1,000 Moai Statues; but, there Ain’t no Jesus on Easter Island.
So, what is the impetus to celebrate Easter if the celebrants are hypocrites? Isn’t the day dedicated to the concept that Jesus gave his life that humanity would be free? He died for our sins. That doesn’t mean we get a clean slate to fill up again.
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WWJD
So, what sins did he really die for? The bible has hundreds of “commandments” that we should all adhere to. The greatest one is to love, respect, and help each other. Until the ancient aliens who erected the stones on Easter island come back and take us to a better world, we need to take care of this one, and live in harmony with it. Jesus died, rose from the grave, and ascended into the heavens for what? A nice story? Parades? Bonnets? No. The parable describes redemption and unity. But, us crazy humans use it as a tool of division to lay claim to property, people, and morality. Today is a good day to really reflect on wwjd (what would Jesus do). Would he invade an island and call it his own? Not likely.
If there Ain’t no Jesus on Easter Island, Where can we find him?
Easter Island is one of the most remote places in the world. The nearest continent is about 2,200 miles away. So, what were people trying to get away from that they ended up there? There are several legends and archaeological clues as to the migration. It could have been a search for an edible source of food when the fish population where the people came from became poisonous. Or, more likely, there was a class struggle. And, the oppressed Hanau Epe people went there to create their own kingdom. No matter what the story is, the people who landed there found the time and energy to create some of the most fascinating statues in the world, dedicated to kings and/or gods.
Of course, ancient alien theorists believe there are electromagnetic forces at play that attract aliens to spirit people away. But, that doesn’t explain why they went there in the first place. Although, it does create a parallel with Jesus, who “ascended into the heavens”. So, were the Rapa Nui drawn there by “birdmen” to follow in Jesus’ footsteps? Maybe Jesus was actually an Alien Abductee, and these people knew where to find him. All these theories make more sense than Europeans going to Easter Island since they came from a completely different ocean, over 8,000 miles away, to get there.
Which leads us to the meaning of life
So, what are we to believe? How about, the teachings of Jesus, on the meaning of life, instead of the myths and interpretations? We simply need to sum it up as they did in Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life:
“Well, it’s nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people. Avoid eating fat. Read a good book every now and then. Get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”
So, let’s get back to roots
If you saw our post last Easter, you may remember we tried to get back to what would Jesus eat. The hypocrisy of eating a ham to celebrate someone who was Jewish is astounding. So, we tried to recreate a plausible menu for the time of Jesus, based on things that would have been available to he and his followers. Since we are unabashedly obsessing over Easter Island this year, our menu will focus on foods the birdmen In seach of Jesus would have eaten. And, why not?
While archaeologic records indicate that the typical diet of early Rapa Nui would have been primarily vegetables, chicken, and rats (yep, they were plentiful on the island), It is an island. So, seafood was abundant. The shores were a bit rough, so fishing wasn’t easy. Thus, eating things off the land was a more practical solution for the Rapa Nui. But, Polynesian settlers and latter European influences would make seafood a major staple of the island. So, our menu will incorporate old and new (maybe not the rodents).
Luau time
Easter Island is a couple thousand miles off the cost of Chile. But, it has a tourist following. In a way it’s a little like Hawaii. But, totally undeveloped. If you have been to Hawaii or have ever heard anything about it, you know that Luaus are a big thing. They dig a pit, build a fire, and cook their food in and above the pit. Well, they aren’t the only ones to do that. On Easter Island they have a traditional cooking method called Umu Rapa Nui. They dig a pit and fill it with volcanic rock. They build a fire to heat the rocks, lay in banana leaves, and cook their food in layers of meats, fish, and vegetables with more banana leaves in between. The method is also known as Curanto. It is a way to bring the community together to share a meal.
They have another tradition similar to this where they super-heat volcanic rocks and cook things like fish directly on the rocks, sort of like a griddle or grille. Chances are, those of us reading this article don’t have access to volcanic rock. Nor do we have the time, patience, or impetus to build a Luau pit. So, our menu will adapt to the cooking equipment at hand. Just like there ain’t no Jesus on Easter Island, there are no Rapa Nui in Bethesda Maryland. So, let’s not pretend.
Ain’t no Jesus on Easter Island, but there is food
So, let’s pretend we’re on Easter Island (Didn’t I just say not to?). What kind of food will you find there? Besides the rodents (eewww), one would find poultry, pork, and lamb for meat. Then there are a variety of seafood: Tuna, mahi mahi, shrimp, and lobsters, among others. And, there are fruits and vegetables, mostly starchy: bananas, plantains, pineapple, mango, sweet potato, yucca, taro, avocado, and pumpkin. But, hopefully, there is no pumpkin spice latte. So, we definitely have things to work with.
Being off the coast of Chile, you can expect some south American influence with a Polynesian flair. So, let’s run with those ideas. Think things like empanadas and tamale, but, in different incarnations. Where a tamale would be wrapped in corn husks, we can use banana leaves. So, here are a couple ideas for our Easter Island Dinner:
- Pineapple Tuna Ceviche
- Spicy Pork and Pumpkin Empanada
- Mango Glazed Mahi Mahi banana Leaf Tamale with Avocado Pico De gaillo
- Ginger Soy Glazed Sweet Potato
Ain’t no Jesus on Easter Island. But, we can celebrate both
No matter what religion you associate with, we can all learn from history. Jesus was persecuted for his beliefs and existence, just like the Rapa Nui. Both fill people with wonder and are credited with miracles that may or may not be ancient aliens. Either way, whether it be the last supper or an Easter Island Curanto, the theme of communal gathering to make the world a better place and to get to know one another is universal. So, celebrating Easter Island and Easter are one and the same. Hell, it makes more sense than a bunny bringing eggs in baskets to hide them on your lawn while you eat a honey glazed ham.
Pineapple Tuna Ceviche
Ingredients
- 8 Oz Fresh grade A Raw Tuna
- 1/2 Cup Diced Fresh Pineapple
- 1 Whole Lime, juice only
- 2 Tbsp Chopped Red Onion
- 1 tsp Chopped Fresh Chili like jalapeno or cerrano
- 2 Tbsp Chopped Fresh red bell pepper
- 1 Tbsp Avocado Oil
- 1 tsp Chopped Fresh Cilantro
- 1 Cup Fresh Micro Greens or baby Green for garnish
- 1 Large Plantain
- Neutral oil for frying plantains
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Sugar to sprinkle in plantains
Instructions
- Carefully peel and thinly slice plantain. Use a mandolin or slicer if you have one. We are going to make plantain chips to give some crunch to the dish.
- Heat oil for frying in a deep pot over medium heat or fryer at 350 degrees. Try one chip to make sure it's hot enough. Adjust heat as needed. When the right temperature is achieved, Fry the plantains until golden brown and crisp. Remove from oil with a basket, tongs, or strainer. Do not over-crowd or they won't cook evenly. Transfer to paper towels to dry the oil and sprinkle lightly with salt and sugar. Set aside.
- Dice the tuna into 1/4 inch pieces. Chop and dice all other ingredients. Then toss all ingredients in a bowl, except greens and plantain chips. Stir to coat evenly. Allow the acid from the lime to lightly "cook the tuna for about 1 hour.
- Plate the Ceviche individually: Arrange it nicely on a plate and garnish with greens and plantain chips. You can use the plantain chips as a scoop to eat the ceviche.
Spicy Pork and Pumpkin Empanada
Ingredients
- For Dough
- 3 Cups Flour
- 1/2 tsp Sea salt
- 5 Tbsp Melted coconut oil
- 1 Cup Water
- For Filling:
- 1 Lb Pork loin Cut into 1/4 inch thick slices
- 2 tsp Ground Cumin
- 2 tsp Chili Powder
- 1 tsp Ground corriander
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- 1/4 Cup Seasoned rice wine vinegar
- 1 Tbsp Soy sauce
- 1 Tbsp Sugar
- 1/4 Cup Diced Sweet Onion
- 1 tsp Chopped Fresh Garlic
- 2 Tbsp Chopped Scallion
- 1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Cilantro
- Kosher or sea salt and ground black pepper
- 4 Oz Fresh Pumpkin or squash
- Shredded jack Cheese (optional)
- Oil to fry
- For Salsa:
- 1 Cup Diced Fresh Tomato
- 1/4 Cup Diced Sweet Onion
- 1 tsp Chopped Fresh garlic
- 2 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Cilantro
- 1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Chili (Jalapeno or other)
- Juice of 2 Key Limes
- 1 tsp Ground Cumin
- 1/2 tsp Ground Coriander
- 1/2 tsp Chili Powder
- Flaked Sea Salt and Cracked Black Pepper
Instructions
- make the salsa: Chop and fold all ingredients together. Put in the fridge until service time. If you are making ahead, hold back on the avocado until you are less than an hour from service, then fold it in.
- Make the dough. Put the flour and salt in a food processor and pulse. Add the Oil, Pulse again. Then drizzle in the water until a solid dough forms. It should pull away from the sides easily. Don't make it too wet. Tightly cover the dough and set aside to rest.
- Cook the Pork: make a dry rub using cumin, chili powder, coriander, salt, and pepper. Reserve a teaspoon to mix in with filling later. Heat a little oil in a saute pan over medium high heat. Sear the pork about 2 to 3 minutes per side. You want a nice color on each side. Remove the pork from the pan. Then add the rice vinegar, sugar and soy sauce. Cook this down until the liquid becomes a glaze. Remove from the heat. Dice the pork into small pieces and toss it in the glaze, coating evenly.
- Make the filling: Saute the onion and garlic in a little oil (Avocado preferably). Add the Pumpkin. Cook until tender, stirring as needed. Add a little water to keep moist. Add in the pork and remove from heat. You should have a filling that will stick together.
- Cut the dough into 1 inch Balls. Press them flat in a tortilla press, by hand, or with a rolling pin. You want them very flat. Place a dollop the bean filling in the middle of each dough round. Fold the dough over the filling to create a half moon shape. Crimp the edges by folding them in on each other or use a fork. Make sure they are well sealed so the filling doesn't escape when cooking.
- Heat the oil in a heavy pan or fryer to around 350 degrees. Carefully place the empanadas in the oil. Cook until golden brown. If they are cooking too quickly the dough will brown before cooking through. Turn down the heat a little if needed.
- Serve hot with the salsa
Mango Glazed Mahi Mahi banana Leaf Tamale
Ingredients
- 4 Sheets banana leaves cut into 8 to 12 inch squares (You may be able to get more than 4 sheets out of 1 leaf)
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- For Corn tamale:
- 1/2 Cup Corn Meal
- 1 tsp Chopped fresh garlic
- 2 Tbsp Coconut oil
- 2 Cups Coconut Milk
- 1/2 tsp Ground Cumin
- For Fish:
- 4 Each 4 to 6 oz. mahi mahi filets, bones and skin removed.
- 1/4 Cup 5 spice Asian Spice mix.
- Coconut oil for cooking
- For mango Glaze:
- 1 Whole Fresh mango
- 1 tsp Chopped Fresh Ginger
- 1/4 Cup Lime Juice
- 2 Cups Water
- 2 Tbsp Sugar
- 1 Each Cinnamon Stick
- 1 Tbsp Coconut Oil
- Avocado salsa to serve with fish: recipe to follow.
Instructions
- make the mango Glaze: Peel the mango carefully. Cut the meat from the pit and cut into pieces about 1 inch. Heat coconut oil in a pot. Add in the ginger and sug. Stir until the sugar is melted and the ginger softens. Add in the mango. Stir until well coated. Then add the juice and water. Simmer until half the liquid evaporates. Then remove from the heat and puree in a blender. Set aside.
- make the Corn Tamale filling: Heat Coconut Milk, garlic and cumin in a pot. Bring to a boil. Then, whisk in the corn meal. Continue whisking until well incorporated. If it thickens too quickly, add a little bit of water. Cook for about 10 minutes over low heat. Then, stir in the coconut oil and season with salt and pepper.
- Rub some 5 spice on the fish fillets. Let it soak in for a few minutes. Heat Coconut oil in a saute pan. Sear the fish about 1 minute per side until it gets a nice color. But, leave the fish raw inside.
- Preheat oven to 400
- Dip the banana leaves in boiling water to make more pliable if necessary. If the are fresh enough, they may be pliable enough as is. place a generous spoonful of the corn tamale mix in the center of the banana leaf. Place the fish on top of that. Then glaze with the mango. Wrap the banana leaves up like you would do a spring roll or Phyllo by folding two sides partially over the top, then roll the rest up. You can use a thin strip of the banana leaf to tie it into a bundle. Place the packets on a sprayed sheet pan and cook in the oven about 10 to 15 minutes. You can insert a meat thermometer to check that it is cooked through. You want an internal temperature of 145 degrees.
- To serve: Present the packets on a plate with the salsa on the side. Let guests open their own packets or you can pre-open and put the salsa on top. I think letting them open their own is a nicer surprise. While banana leaves are "technically edible", they are really too tough to eat. They serve as a serving vehicle and cooking medium to hold the steam in and keep food moist during cooking.
Avocado Pico de gaillo
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup diced sweet onion
- 1 T chopped fresh garlic
- 1/2 cup diced fresh sweet peppers
- 1 T fine diced jalapeno
- 1 cups diced fresh tomato
- 2 cups diced fresh avocado
- 1/4 cup fresh lime juice
- 1 T avocado oil
- 2 T chopped fresh cilantro
- 1/4 t chili powder
- 1/2 t cumin
- Sea Salt and Fresh ground pepper to taste
Instructions
- Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix. For a slightly sweeter version, try sauteing the onion and garlic. You can adjust the quantities to your taste. Some like more avocado and less tomato. Some reverse. If you don’t have peppers, leave them out. If you don’t have jalapeno, increase the amount of chili powder. The amount of spice is really up to you. . Some mild.
- Serve with Tortilla chips and rout for your team!
- Go Sportsball!
Notes
Ginger Soy Glazed Sweet Potato
Ingredients
- 2 Lb Sweet Potatoes, cleaned and cut in 1 inch cubes
- 1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Ginger
- 1/2 tsp Chopped Fresh garlic
- 1/4 Cup Seasoned Rice Wine Vinegar
- 1/4 Cup Soy Sauce (Tamari preferred)
- 1/4 Cup Honey
- 2 each Small Hot chili Pepper
- 1/4 Cup Coconut Oil
- 2 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Scallion
- 2 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Cilantro
Instructions
- Heat Coconut oil in a large Saute pan with high sides (Also called a Sauteuse pan). Add the ginger and garlic. Cook until aromatic. Then add the Sweet potatoes and chili. Cook until you get some caramelization on each side. Stir as needed to prevent sticking and scorching. Add in the rest of the ingredients except cilantro and scallion. Bring to a simmer. Let the liquid cook down to create a glaze. Stir as needed. If the liquid evaporates too quickly and the potatoes aren't cooked, add a little water, and, continue cooking. You want the potatoes soft enough that they yield to the touch. But, you don't want mashed potatoes. When they are fully cooked and the liquid is a glaze, remove from the heat and stir in the scallion and cilantro. Serve hot.