Broad hasn’t shut up once
Several years ago, I brought my father over to the neighbor’s house. We had several friends there as well. The neighbor put a movie on the TV in the background while we had a social visit. That’s when my father’s dementia kicked in. He piped up an opinion while our host engaged in a heartfelt conversation with one of the guests. He blurted out, “we came here to watch a movie and that BROAD hasn’t shut up once”. To this day, Arlene is known as “that broad”. And, it’s a badge of honor. To many, the term “broad” is derogatory. But, women of a certain age embrace the term. And, today we celebrate them with Spunky old broads day.
In 2002, Dr Gayle Carson, an international entrepreneur and business coach, started this day based on her own brand of positivity. Someone referred to her as an SOB. She countered with an affirmative. I’m paraphrasing here: Yes, I’m a spunky old broad. She took 3 words that usually have negative connotations and made them all positive and empowering. She created Spunky old broad day for women to do the same. Embrace what others consider bad to empower yourself. She took the ethos of the recently started red hat society and expanded it to not only embrace eccentricity, but your own tenacity, and, yes, spunk.
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Where did she come from? This Broad who hasn’t shut up once?
The origins of the word “broad” are unknown. But, it gained popularity as a slang word, especially amongst criminal elements in the early 20th century, with citations of the word appearing around 1911, and in slang dictionaries by 1914. While some contend it has to do with playing cards, some claim it derives from trains, something to do with bribing ticket takers with a broad hat. Neither explanation resonates. The more likely derivation comes from women having broad hips for child bearing. So, a broad is a woman of loose morals. Is that really such a bad thing? It’s only in the minds of immoral and small minded men that it’s a derogatory thing. Mary Magdalene had a similar reputation; yet, she’s one of the strongest characters in the bible. A broad is like the honey badger of the human world. She doesn’t give a s***.
So, Carson converted broad to a positive thing. What about Spunky? Again, the only people who view it as negative are people who think women should be quiet, barefoot, pregnant, and servile. The word Spunk dates back to Early Scottish and Gaelic meaning spark, courage, mettle, or pluck. Remind me, why is that bad? And, the other word: old comes off as an insult. But, isn’t that what we all strive for? Old may not be quick and sexy. But, it’s smarter, more experienced, and what you young whippersnappers will be some day. Old means you’ve survived, been there, done that. Any negative connotations come from ignorance and jealousy.
So, yeah, Being an SOB is a good thing. Only ignorance and vanity see it in any other light. No wonder This Broad who hasn’t shut up once. She earned it.
How shall we celebrate these SOB’s?
It’s a long held tradition that as we reach a certain age, things begin to slow down. While taking longer to do things, it doesn’t mean we miss out. In fact, since it takes longer, older people claim the right to take more time. So, Spunky old broad day isn’t just the day. It’s the theme for the whole month. Similarly, celebrating birthdays and other life events also get longer periods. While there’s no set guideline, if you’re in your 50’s it becomes a birthday week, 60’s and beyond stretch into full months. If you want, you can celebrate all year. After all, shouldn’t every day of life be a celebration? Jimmy Carr has a great video where he asks:
If you had six months to live, what would you do? That’s how you should be living your life anyway.
When your young and spunky, you think you have forever. When your old and spunky, you know you don’t. And, making every moment count becomes more salient. That’s why we take longer to put on socks, to enjoy the moment a little longer (or is it the arthritis?). If you’re a spunky old broad, you can embrace the imperfection. Sure, things don’t work the way they used to. But, does that make you less? Not at all. Why is it that older men are called distinguished while older women are decrepit? Wrinkles on a man add character. On a woman, they crepitate? Thanks to these societal prejudices, when many meet a SOB, they are shocked or surprised. By what? Coarse language? Wit, humor, and verve? Ladies, celebrate your spunk!
This Broad who hasn’t shut up once. She earned the right.
All day long we listen to younger, photogenic people on TV, radio, and elsewhere, telling us what they think and how we should think and react. But, there was a time (and still some places) when people revered their elders. I remember when I started in the culinary world, I envied the people who had been in the industry for years. I always deferred to people by age. In fact, when I became a sous chef, I always felt a little weird telling people who were older than me what to do. They deserve respect because they earned it. When a 20 something kid thinks he or she knows better than someone 3 times his age, that’s cocky. When it’s reversed, usually, the older one knows a thing or two. Although, sometimes arrogance and an inability to accept alternative ideas may occur. But, that’s a small percent.
Spunky old broads can, and should do what they please. Of course, making quick, undeliberated, and rash proclamations is still bad. But, as a Spunky old broad, you can tell the difference. It’s like Jimmy Carr said above, your tolerance for BS goes down. When you reach an age where your typical conversations revolve around what ailments you have, the surgeries, procedures and meds you need, congratulations, you’re a woman of a certain age. Ironically, tampons have names like new freedom. But, the real freedom comes when you don’t need them anymore. No longer tethered to societal expectations, you don’t need to worry about having kids or what people think of you. Sure, you try your best to stay healthy. But, being in the later periods of life, the bucket list is more prevalent and achievable (maybe not the climbing Mt Everest part, but…).
This Broad hasn’t shut up once. So, feed her.
When a man prattles on and on, they say the way to his heart is through his stomach. Why can’t that be the same for a spunky old broad? Why is it that men are proud to be SOB’s, but women still feel un-entitled? It’s all part of the sexist patriarchy we live in. Women are the ones tied to the stove, and expected to entertain and feed everyone else. Ironically, in commercial kitchens, men are the dominant force in kitchens. So, women, can play with food in their own cute little kitchens, but not cook for large groups of people when there’s money involved?
So, isn’t it time these spunky old broads got a break from servicing your needs. yes, I’m talking to you, the ungrateful husbands, children, and other family members. Give the broad a break and cook for her for a change. We have help for you. If you think you’re not cut out for kitchen work, it’s just a state of mind. You can and will make something, even if it’s relatively simple. As a professional chef, I know what a pleasure to eat any kind of food you didn’t have to make yourself. I could open a fridge and make a gourmet meal from what others would see as nothing to eat. But, sometimes, the best food is someone else’s. Give me that greasy bar pizza any day.
Whether you’re a SOB yourself or have one in your life, today is time to celebrate that stubborn spirit that men fear, but, everyone loves. try these recipes or make your own. Then, maybe you won’t have to say that broad hasn’t shut up once.
Cheers to the SOB’s!
Margarita Neopolitan Pizza Pie
Equipment
- Pizza Stone
Ingredients
- 1.5 Lb Type 00 flour
- 1 Tbsp Kosher Salt
- 1 Tbsp dry active yeast
- 2 Tbsp sugar
- 1 pint warm water Around 100 degrees fahrenheit
- 1 to 2 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive oil
- Topping:
- 2 Lb Sliced Fresh Tomato
- 1 cup Thin sliced/shaved sweet Onion
- 2 Tbsp Thin shaved Fresh garlic
- 1 Lb Thin sliced and drained Fresh mozzarella
- 1/2 Cup Fresh basil leaves
- Olive oil to drizzle
- Flaked Sea Salt and Cracked Black Pepper
- 1 tsp Oregano or 1Tbsp Fresh chopped
- 1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
- corn meal for dusting
Instructions
- Put warm water, sugar and yeast in the bowl of a mixer. Allow the yeast to activate for about 10 minutes
- Add in the salt and 1 Tbsp olive oil.
- Use a dough hook attachment on the mixer. Start at a low speed, and gradually add in the flour. Then increase the speed as you incorporate the last of the flour, so it doesn't fly all over.
- Mix until a dry dough forms. Add a little more oil if it is too dry.
- Remove the dough from the bowl and put on a floured surface. Sprinkle flour on top and cover. Let the dough sit about 20 minutes to 1/2 hour.
- Cut the dough into smaller portions if you want or leave whole if you have a large enough stone to accomodate.
- Preheat your oven to it's highest temperature. Most max out at 550. Have the pizza stone in the oven
- When the oven is hot, form the dough by hand. You can roll it out if you want, but I find the dough forms better and has a better mouth feel if done by hand.
- The dough can be formed on a pizza peel and slid into the oven or built on the stone itself. If you build it on the stone, be prepared to work fast. Either way, you want to dust the stone with corn meal to prevent sticking. If you are building on a peel, put some corn meal on the peel as well (also to prevent sticking).
- Drizzle the pizza crust with olive oil. Top with tomato slices (thin is better), onion, and garlic, top that with the fresh mozarella, then sprinkle parmesan, oregano, salt, and pepper on.
- Bake for about 10 to 15 minutes depending on how well done you want it. The cheese should be somewhat browned. Be careful that it is not too wet.
- Either hand tear or slice the basil and sprinkle evenly over the pizza, Cut and serve immediately.
Notes
- Type 00 flour is a finely ground flour available in specialty stores. In Italy they categorize flour by the fineness of the grind. 00 is the finest grind. It’s gluten content is similar to AP flour, but the grinding makes the gluten react differently, resulting in a crisper dough. You can mix with AP or bread flour if you want a chewier crust.
- Fresh Mozzarella needs to be drained first. It has a lot of moisture, and can make your pizza soggy. Slice it thin. Otherwise it will not cook quick enough, and, the moisture will seep out. You can use regular mozzarella if you want. But, fresh or buffalo Moz is preferred in this type of pizza.
- Strain the tomatoes too. They can sog out the crust as well.
- This dough is universal. I like to make larger batches of it, cut into smaller balls, and freeze the dough. You can put whatever toppings you want on it. Try a fig, prosciutto, and blue cheese, drizzle with balsamic reduction! Molto Bene!
Lemon Basil Vodka Martini
Ingredients
- 8 Oz Good Quality Vodka
- 2 Oz Limoncello
- 2 Oz Fresh Lemon Juice
- 2 Oz Sugar
- 2 Tbsp Fresh Basil Leaves, plus extra for garnish
- 4 Each Lemon Wheels For garnish
- Ice
Instructions
- Muddle the Basil and Sugar in a Large Pitcher to Extract the flavor, Stir in the lemon juice and mix will. Add the ice, Limoncello and vodka and stir well. Strain into a martini glass and garnish with basil leaves and lemon wheels. Drink, and repeat.
Bourbon Blueberry Minted Mimosa
Ingredients
- 1 Cup Fresh Blueberries
- 2 Cup Orange Juice, preferably fresh squeezed
- 2 Cup Champagne or sparkling wine
- 4 Oz Bourbon
- 1 Oz maple Syrup
- 2 Tbsp Fresh Mint Leaves
- Oranges, blueberries and mint to garnish
- Turbinado Sugar to rim glasses
Instructions
- Place blueberries, maple, and mint in a pitcher. Muddle together with a muddling stick or wooden spoon. Mix until flavors are well blended.
- Add in the remaining ingredients except garnish. Stir to mix flavors.
- Dip the rims of 4 champagne glasses in water and dip them in turbinado sugar. Pour the drink into each glass. garnish with oranges, blueberries, and mint. Enjoy.
Herb Seared Monkfish with White Wine, Leek, and Bacon Beurre Blanc accompanied by Cauliflower and Golden Potato Puree, and Lemon Scented Brussel Sprouts
Ingredients
- 2 Lb Monkfish Filet
- 1 cup Chopped fresh herbs, Parsley, dill, chive, Basil, Thyme
- 1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh garlic
- 1/4 cup Olive oil
- 1/4 cup Jullienne fresh leeks
- 1 Cup White Wine
- 1/4 cup diced raw bacon Use Slab bacon if available or thick cut
- 1/4 cup Chicken Broth or fish stock
- 1/4 Lb Sweet Unsalted butter cut into slices
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- 1 whole lemon, Just the juice
- For the Cauliflower Potato Puree
- 4 Cups Raw cauliflower cut into smaller florets so the moisture can cook out.
- 2 Cups Raw peeled potato, preferably golden
- 4 Tbsp Sweet unsalted butter
- Sea salt and Ground white pepper to taste, plus oil to coat cauliflower
- For Brussel Sprouts
- 1 Lb Brussel Spouts, trim bottoms and split in 1/2
- Oil to saute
- 2 Tbsp Sugar
- 1/4 cup Lemon juice
- A little water if needed
- salt and pepper to taste
- Garnish the plate with lemons and herbs
Instructions
- Trim the tough skin and membrane from the monkfish and cut into 4 equal portions. If you can get your fishmonger to do this for you, even better.
- Combine, the garlic, herbs, and a little salt and pepper in a mixing bowl. Toss the fish in the herb mixture to coat evenly.
- Heat a large saute pan over medium high heat. Put in a good amount of olive oil. Place the fish in the pan when hot. Sear one side until lightly browned, then turn over and sear the other for about a minute.
- Transfer the fish to a flat pan sprayed with pan spray, place in 350 degree oven to finish, about 10 minutes. You can check the temperature with a meat thermometer. It should be 145 to 155 degrees.
- Start the sauce before putting the fish in the oven and make it while the fish is roasting. You can use the same pan as the fish if there aren't too many stray herbs that will burn in the pan. Or you can wipe it out and start fresh.
- Heat a saute pan and add in the bacon pieces, render until it becomes brown and the fat is liquid. Drain off some of the fat if it looks like too much. Add in the leeks and stir occasionally. Cook until they become translucent. Then add the wine and cook it down by 1/2 volume. Add in the stock and reduce that by 1/2. Before you serve, whisk in the butter a little at a time so it blends in, but doesn't separate. It will create a creamy sauce. You don't want it to melt and separate.
- Continue whisking and add in the lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Make the sauce as close to service as possible. If you try to reheat it could "break" and separate into liquid and melted butter. This is why the butter is added last (with the seasoning and lemon juice).
- For the Puree: Boil potatoes in lightly salted water.
- When they are fully boiled, soft to the touch, but not falling apart, strain them.
- Toss the cauliflower in a little oil, salt, and pepper and roast in the oven for 10 to 15 minutes. They should be soft to the touch.
- Put the cauliflower into a food processor while still hot. Puree until smooth, scraping down the sides occasionally. Add in the potatoes and follow the same procedure. Be careful how long you puree for. The potatoes can become gummy.
- With the machine running, add in the butter, continue pureeing. Add in salt and pepper to finish and transfer to a bowl (or pan if it needs to be reheated) and test to make sure the seasoning is good and it's not too thin.
- For the brussel sprouts, heat oil in a pan over medium high heat. Add in the brussels and allow them to get some color on one side, Then toss or stir to get color on both sides. Stir often to keep from over cooking. They should still be firm. Add sugar and stir. Allow the sugar to melt. Then add the lemon juice and cook down. If the brussels are still undercooked you may add a little water. The liquid should be mostly gone except for a light glaze. Add salt and pepper. Stir that in.
- To Plate: Spoon the Cauliflower puree unto the plate and drag it a bit to make a trough to put the fish on. Alternatively, you could mound the puree to give the dish height. Place the fish atop the puree. Arrange the Brussels around the puree. Spoon the sauce over the fish and then garnish with lemons and herbs or microgreens. Enjoy with a lighter ale, like Harp or Smithwicks or a nice white wine.