Like Making Love in a Canoe
Well, my fine friends You knew it was coming. We’ve had New Beer day, Homebrew day, international beer day, drink beer day, and probably a couple others as well. So, today is American Beer Day. I can’t think about American beers without Monty Python’s take on them: We find your American Beer to be “Like Making Love in a Canoe… It’s fucking close to water.” Unfortunately for them, American beer in the 1970’s was just that. But, we’ve come a long way baby. Today, we have micro breweries and brew pubs in most major metropolitan areas across the country. While Budweiser, Corr’s, and Miller are still top sellers, we now have choices like Sam Adams, Sierra Nevada, Harpoon, and dozens more available regionally and nationally. And, unlike the big companies there are multiple varieties (not just regular or light).
It wasn’t too long ago that you would go to a restaurant or bar and have one price for domestic beer, and another for imported. And, the people drinking imported were the yuppies. Now, local beers are the artisan hipster choice, while your miller, Corr’s, and Bud are owned by giant international conglomerates. For all you Blue collar guys touting “buy American”, guess what: the profits go to a foreign subsidiary. And, quite frankly, the beer is watered down crap. In fact, it may even be worse than the stuff Monty Python complained about. You can thank the proliferation of light beer for the further decline of American beer. Corr’s introduced a light beer in the 1940’s, but, put it on hold during WWII. They re-introduced it in 1978 with wide success that spurred competition from Miller, Bud, and eventually other brewers. They watered down watered down beer.
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Say no to beer that is Like Making Love in a Canoe
Amstel Light had a series of commercials about how bad most light beers are. In one they demonstrate how you can use other light beers to water your lawn. They aren’t far off. And, the proliferation of sub par beer across America that people have a negative image of American beer drinkers. We are seen as Amateurs, lightweights, buffoons. If you picture an American beer drinker, it’s a pudgy, pale dimwitted sports fan sporting his favorite team’s Jersey and a silly hat (those ones with two beer cans with straws). This is a stereotype we need to shake. We can start by drinking more refined, better tasting beer, made right here in the USA. When you think of the Irish, you picture a hardy lad drinking a Guinness. We picture Germans with steins of frothy full bodied brew. And, We picture Canadians with full flavored Molson or Labatts.
Buying mass produced beer is easy and lazy. And, it’s totally opposite of what we should be doing. There are over 9,000 breweries across the USA. There are about 100 large, non craft breweries. Yet, the large producers outsell all the smaller breweries combined. 2/3 of the beer sold in America is from mass producers. Let’s make today the start of opposite day, week, month, year, and beyond. Chances are, there is a good brewery right near you. And, more open every year. In the 1970’s and 80’s there were fewer than 200 breweries total. By 2015 we were approaching 5,000. And, that number has nearly doubled since then. So, why are you still drinking Bud? In some areas, you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a local craft brewer. Find one, and say no to beer that is Like Making Love in a Canoe. Drink Locally.
No Excuses
Drinkers of Mass produced beers will claim that they don’t like other beers. They have a simple palate, and watered down American beer hits the spot. having brand loyalty and an affinity for a certain flavor profile is understandable. But, there are a couple flaws to that argument.
One: tastes evolve as we age. While children enjoy a lot of sweets, the adult palate seeks balance. While a PB and J may still hit the spot once in a while, you can’t eat them every day. Where fish sticks were once a delicacy, a real piece of fish is preferred as an adult. And, of course, as an adult, drinking sickly sweet syrupy drinks is no longer a thrill. Try other things. The first time you drank coffee, it was disgusting, now you can’t live without it.
Which leads us to the other excuse: I don’t like other beers. The old saying: don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it comes to mind here. Most people say they don’t like other beers without even trying them. Or, when they do try them, they don’t approach them from an open perspective. They think beer should taste like sex in a canoe, and anything even slightly different is wrong. But, if you open yourself to possibilities, you may just find you might enjoy different flavors. It’s like eating white bread VS multi-grain or rye. If you compare a full grain bread to white bread, you will be sadly disappointed. But, if you think of it as something completely different, you can appreciate it for what it is. The same applies to beers. A stout is a completely different animal than lager. But, a pilsner may be a good stepping stone.
If you Like Making Love in a Canoe, try it elsewhere
Maybe the Monty python observation has real world applications. If mass produced American beer is Like Making Love in a Canoe, craft brews, micro brew, home brew, and others can be like making love in a house, on the washing machine, or even in a bed. While Bud and the like are easy to drink in volume, craft beers take a little more savoring. Sometimes quality outweighs quantity. And, again, as we age, we tend to slow down the pace and take time to smell the roses. You don’t have to give up the simple flavor and effects of mass produced beer. But, venturing into other flavor, texture, and effects can be quite rewarding.
If you aren’t versed in the world of craft brewing, start slow. Go to a brew pub or tap room and try a flight. Begin with the lightest beer they have, and work your way up. A pilsner or blond ale is a good starting point. Then, move to a medium/light bodied ale. Next, step it up to a full bodied brown ale or similar. Then, you can work up to a stout or porter.
Of course, drinking beer is a lot like drinking coffee. Both are brewed, and come in different ranges of roastedness. Some people find a dark roast too much. The same applies to beer. The difference between a dark and light beer is how much the grains are roasted. Personally, I find stouts and porters too heavy for everyday drinking. But, I appreciate them in context. While a light ale, lager, or pilsner is refreshing on a hot summer day, Stouts and porters are warming, filling, and comforting through the autumn and winter.
What to do with American Beers
Remember the Amstel commercial about watering the lawn with light beer? They may be on to something there. Mass produced American beers lack the character and body of micro and craft brewed ales and beers. But, they can serve a purpose. I use them in beer batter for things like onion rings and fish and chips. For something like that, you want a light batter with a flavor that doesn’t overpower the fish or vegetables. So, a light lager fits the bill perfectly. Of course, I still prefer to use a locally produced ale. But, again, use something that isn’t too heavy. Here is a recipe:
Lemon Scented Beer Battered Fish and Chips
Ingredients
- 12 oz Beer, lighter style (lager, pilsner, golden ale)
- 2 each large Eggs
- 2 Cups AP Flour
- 1/2 Cup Corn Starch
- 1/2 tsp Baking soda
- 1 Medium Lemon
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- Oil to Fry
- 4 Each Fish Fillets (Haddock, cod, or sole), about 6 ounces each.
- 4 90 ct Baking Potatoes
- 1/2 Cup AP Flour
- 1 tsp Cajun Seasoning
Instructions
- Cut your French Fries: Use a mandolin or french fry cutter if available, or cut by hand. Cut to the desired thickness: 1/4 to 1/2 inch is best. Soak the potatoes in water for about 30 minutes to an hour.
- make the seasoning for the fries. Mix 1/2 cup of flour with Cajun seasoning, salt, and pepper. Drain the potatoes well and toss with the flour to coat evenly. You can substitute gluten free or other flour if desired.
- make the beer batter: Whisk the eggs in a bowl. Add in the beer and mix. Whisk in the Flour, cornstarch, salt and pepper. Zest the lemon. Fold the zest into the batter, and squeeze in the juice. If the batter is too thin, add a little more flour.
- Heat the oil in a fryer to 350 degrees, or over medium heat on a stove. Fry the French fries until golden brown, crispy on the outside, and, soft on the inside. Dry on paper towels. Keep warm in a holding oven until ready to serve.
- Fry the Fish: Dip the fish by hand into the batter next to the fryer. make sure it is completely coated. Move quickly to gently and carefully put it in the oil. Dip it in from one end and slowly let the rest immerse in the oil. Try not to splash (you won't be happy with the mess or the burns). Repeat with the rest of the fish. Cook until golden brown. This should take about 10 minutes. remove from the oil and drain on paper towels. Serve immediately with the french fries and tartar sauce.
You will want to drink a fine local beer with the Fish and Chips. Find your local brewery or go to your local beer store and get something other than the mass produced beers. Even smaller stores offer a choice these days. With 9,000 breweries to choose from, there’s no reason to stuff the pockets of the giant conglomerates like inBev and Molson/coors. Local beers are made in smaller batches with more attention to detail and quality ingredients. So, even if you drink lighter beers, you are likely to get a better quality than the big box brews. They are, most likely, more expensive. But, you are paying for higher quality and the profits go to your neighbors instead of some faceless corporation. If you Like Making Love in a Canoe, try another version. Most breweries offer something for light beer drinkers as well. Try it, you might like it.