That’s a load of crap

Invented in the 16th century, the toilet goes by many names. And, it gets a bad reputation for something so vital to our daily lives. And, the man who created a sanitary version of this marvel of engineering suffers from the greatest maligning of any invention thanks to his unfortunate name. Today we celebrate Thomas Crapper who died on this day in 1910. But, his name and legacy live on. People laugh and malign his name because they think the word crap is named after him. Well, That’s a load of crap. Although his name is synonymous with the appliance we “crap” in, the word crap derives from middle dutch Krappe (to cut off, separate) and old french crappe (waste, siftings). The actual word crap in English appears in print in 1846, 20 years before Thomas patented his toilet in 1866.

Thomas Crapper was 10 years old when the word crap appeared in print. So, it was probably in use quite a while before then. So, he didn’t intentionally name the toilet or himself after the act. What he did do, was invent some of the greatest improvements to public sanitation. He received 9 patents for things like manhole covers, water closets, piping, and even the ballcock mechanism we use to flush toilets. His inventions found homes in and around the famed Buckingham palace. So, they are worthy of the most royal crap in the world. So, his toilets combined form and fashion. And, he was famous for inventing showrooms to entice buyers.

Did his peers tell him that’s a load of crap?

In polite society, people don’t, generally, talk about bodily functions, despite being a constant part of life. So, surely, Thomas Crapper’s inventions would not be front page news. But, there was a burgeoning industry around the toilet. And, plenty of people made names and careers for themselves at the time. George Jennings presented the first public flush toilets at the great exhibition in 1851. Thomas Twyford manufactured the first one piece ceramic toilet in the 1880’s. And, Henry Doulton was responsible for mass producing ceramic toilet parts and expanding the industry.

meanwhile companies like American Standard, Crane company, Kohler, and others made fortunes proliferating toilets around the world. Today, the Japanese company Toto is the most popular toilet. But, Kohler and American Standard are still number 2 (ha ha) and 3. The Thomas Crapper company has been revived, and still makes high end reproductions of Victorian era toilets to this day. Toilets are huge business. And, Crapper was one of the pioneers. having such an unfortunate name was actually a bonus in his chosen field. And, he did a lot to make an unspeakable necessity fashionable. Today it is a multi-billion dollar industry. That’s not a load of crap (or is it?).

Not the best topic when discussing food

Being a food blog, talking toilets may seem a bit off topic. But, isn’t it a natural part of the food cycle? When we eat a healthy diet, with quality food, it actually shows in what we leave in the crapper. Also, don’t forget, much of our food is grown in beds fertilized with manure. So, even though, we don’t like to talk about it, it is a very necessary and healthy part of the dining experience. A healthy movement is an indication of a healthy body and a testament to good food practices. Heck, Thomas Crapper put his name on toilets. He was proud of them. Why do we have to be embarrassed to talk about them? In fact we should honor him by using our toilets every day.

Without toilets or the improvements Crapper patented, we would have a big problem on our hand. When Crapper patented his inventions there were about 1.5 billion people in the world. Today we are at about 8.3 billion. That’s a lot of S*** that needs to go somewhere. And, it’s truly one of the facts of life that deserves attention. There’s no need to be embarrassed. Food goes in one end and comes out the other. Literally, everybody does it. Granted, we need to remember the old maxim: Don’t s*** where you eat. But, the two are complimentary. And, if this is uncomfortable, it could be something you ate…

Getting enough fiber in your diet isn’t just a load of crap

Eating a diet conducive to healthy movements is a key part of overall health. Getting enough fiber and monitoring greasy, spicy, and processed foods is important to your gut. You don’t want to make a mess of the crapper. So, we need to seek out foods conducive to good health that also appeal to our ever evolving palate. Getting enough fiber is key to your gut and heart. Eating a varieties of foods also pleases mind and body. Whether it’s comfort food or gourmet dining, there are plenty of options. You can maintain health and excite the taste buds, while promoting regular and predictable use of the crapper.

So, to help with your body and that marvelous invention we present some recipes that will help with regulating things. A diet heavy in fruits, grains, and vegetables will help things move along and keep you going. Don’t forget to hydrate as well. Despite our propensity for alcoholic beverages, that’s not the best way to achieve hydration. So, drink plenty of water and juices between drinks. And, drink responsibly. Dr Oz recently suggested we don’t drink beer for breakfast.That’s not necessarily right. But, enjoying alcohol, caffeine and other natural elements in moderation is highly recommended by people such as myself (not a real doctor, nor claiming a title).

Baby kale and Spiced Apple Salad

cheffd

Print Recipe

Prep Time 15 minutes mins

Cook Time 50 minutes mins

Course Salad

Cuisine American

Servings 4 People

Ingredients

  

• For Cranberry:
• 2 Cups Fresh or Frozen Cranberries
• 3/4 Cup Sugar
• 1/4 Cup Neutral Oil, like canola or soy
• For Apples:
• 1 Large Apple Cut into 12 to 16 wedges
• 1 tsp Cinnamon
• 2 Tbsp Sugar
• 1/4 tsp Nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp Cayenne Pepper
• Neutral oil for cooking
• For salad:
• 1 Pkg baby kale or similar hearty greens
• 1/4 Cup Pine nuts
• For Vinaigrette
• 1/4 Cup Honey
• 1/2 Cup Cider Vinegar
• 1/2 Cup Fresh Cider
• 1 Cup Neutral Oil
• 1/4 tsp Cinnamon
• 1 tsp Dijon Mustard
• salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

 

• Preheat oven to 300
• Toss the cranberries in a light coating of neutral oil, toss with sugar and spread out on a sheet pan with a non stick liner or sprayed parchment paper. Pop in the oven and allow to slowly roast. Check them occasionally. You want them to be wilted, firm, and maintain their shape. This can take 30 minutes to over an hour depending on the consistency of your oven. When done, set aside to cool.
• Place the pine nuts on a sprayed Sheet Pan. Toast them in the oven until golden brown (About 8 to 10 minutes). Set aside to cool.
• Mix the sugar and spices for the apples, Cut the apples and toss in the spice mix. Heat a thin coating of oil in a saute pan over high heat. Carefully, place the apples in the hot pan. Cook one side and then flip to the other (about 1 minute per side). They should have a golden brown caramel hue when done. Remove from heat and set aside to cool.
• make the Vinaigrette: Place all ingredients except the oil in a blender. Turn it on at low speed and increase to medium/high. With the blender running, drizzle in the oil until an emulsified dressing forms.
• To serve, start with the Kale. Toss all the ingredients in a bowl or carefully arrange on plates. You can serve the dressing on the salad or on the side. We're easy here.

Keyword Baby Kale, Cider Vinaigrette, Pine Nuts, Roasted Cranberries, salad, Spiced Apple, Strawberry, citrus, soup, dessert, vegan, gluten free

Mediterranean Red Lentils

cheffd

Print Recipe

Prep Time 10 minutes mins

Cook Time 15 minutes mins

Course Side Dish

Cuisine Mediterranean

Servings 4 people

Ingredients

  

• 1 cup diced sweet onion
• 1 tsp chopped fresh garlic
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 2 cups red lentils
• 4 cups water or vegetable broth
• 1 Tbsp Chopped fresh cilantro
• 1/4 cup chopped scallions
• olive oil, salt, and pepper to taste

Instructions

 

• Heat olive oil in a heavy pot over medium high heat. Add in the onion and garlic.
• Stir the onion and garlic until translucent. Add in the cumin and continue stirring until evenly distributed.
• Add in the lentils and stir to coat evenly with oil. Then add the liquid, salt, and pepper
• Bring lentils to a boil, then trim heat to a simmer. Allow to cook down until all the liquid is gone and the lentils are soft.
• When cooked, remove from the heat and stir in the herbs. Add a little olive oil, and adjust seasoning if necessary. Serve immediately.

Notes

Red lentils are very delicate. You could use other varieties. I like red for the color and consistency. Be careful with them. They can break down quickly. You are better off going light on the liquid and adding more if they aren’t fully cooked. If you overdo the liquid, they can cook down to mush. So, they need to be watched closely.

Keyword lentils, Mediterranean, red lentil, side dish

Lemon Verbena Chick Pea Puree with Spring Vegetable Hash

cheffd

Print Recipe

Prep Time 20 minutes mins

Cook Time 35 minutes mins

Soaking time for beans 4 hours hrs

Course Main Course

Cuisine American, Mediterranean, Vegan

Servings 4 People

Ingredients

  

• 1 Cup Dried Chic Peas Or 4 cups cooked
• 1 Cup Diced Sweet Onion
• 1 tsp Ground Cumin
• 1 tsp Chopped Fresh Garlic
• 1/4 Cup Lemon Juice
• 1/4 cup Chopped Fresh Lemon verbena may substitute lemon balm or lemon Thyme
• 1/4 Cup Chopped Fresh Scallion
• For Hash:
• 1 Cup Cubed Sweet Potato
• 1 Cup Cubed Golden Potatoes
• 1 Bunch Asparagus
• 1 Cup Chopped Fresh Spring Onion
• 1 Cup Cubed Fresh parsnip
• 1/2 Cup Chopped Fresh Herbs (parsley, Dill, Thyme, Oregano)
• Water for cooking
• Olive Oil For Cooking
• Salt and Pepper to taste
• Balsamic reduction/syrup to drizzle
• High quality Olive oil, preferably flavored, like basil or chive for drizzling
• Micro Greens to garnish

Instructions

 

• Cover the beans in water in a large vessel. Allow them to soak for about 4 to 8 hours at room temperature. They should almost Triple in volume.
• Heat a little olive oil in a heavy pot over medium high heat. Saute onions and garlic until translucent. Drain and rinse the beans. Add to pot and toss until well coated with oil. Stir in the cumin. Add water to cover by double the volume of beans. Bring to a simmer and cook until tender (about 20 to 30 minutes). When tender, strain off liquid. But, reserve some of the liquid for pureeing.
• Put the beans into a food processor and puree until smooth. Scrape down the sides occasionally. Add some cooking liquid as needed to help it get smooth. Add in the lemon juice and continue blending. Add in the lemon verbena. Then, with the machine still running, drizzle in 1/2 cup olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Transfer mix to a pan to keep warm.
• Make the hash: Heat some olive oil in a saute pan over medium high heat. Add in the potatoes and cook until they begin to caramelize and soften. Stir as needed. Then add in the Onions and parsnips and stir. Cook until slightly colored. Add a little water and cook down until the potatoes are tender, but not falling apart. Then, stir in the asparagus and season with salt and pepper. The asparagus should cook in seconds. Fold in the herbs last minute and adjust seasoning as needed.
• Spread the puree evenly on the plate and artfully present the hash. Drizzle the plate with a splash of Balsamic and flavored oil. garnish with micro greens.

Notes

We cooked the beans with the onion and garlic here. You could use cooked beans (dare I say, from a can) to save time soaking and cooking the beans. But, you do want the cooked onion and garlic, plus the lemon and herbs.

If lemon verbena is not available, substitute a similar herb. If there is nothing with lemon, add a teaspoon of lemon zest to the recipe and substitute fresh thyme and parsley.

Play with the vegetables for the hash. The potatoes and sweet potatoes make a nice base. Being spring, we like asparagus. try adding fiddleheads, cauliflower, zucchini or other vegetables as well.

Keyword Chic pea, hash, Healthy, Lemon verbena, Light, Mother’s day, puree, Spring vegetable, vegan

Maple Bourbon Glazed Scallops with Celery Root and Yam Puree and Apple Slaw

cheffd

Print Recipe

Prep Time 20 minutes mins

Cook Time 20 minutes mins

Course first course, Main Course

Cuisine American

Servings 4 People

Ingredients

  

• 1.5 # Large Scallops, muscle removed
• 1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Thyme
• 1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Parsley
• 1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Ginger
• 1/2 Cup Bourbon or other type of Whiskey
• 2 Tbsp Lemon Juice
• 1 Cup Maple Syrup
• 1/4 Cup Unsalted Butter
• For Apple Slaw:
• 1 Large Gala Apple
• 1/4 Cup Shaved Red Onion
• 1/4 Cup Julienne Red Pepper
• 2 Tbsp Chives Cut into 1 inch Strips
• 1/4 Cup Maple Syrup
• 1/2 Cup Cider Vinegar
• 1 tsp Dijon Mustard
• 1/4 Cup Vegetable oil (Neutral)
• For Puree:
• 1 Lb Peeled Yams or sweet Potatoes
• 1 Lb Peeled Celery Root
• 1/4 Lb Butter, unsalted
• 1/4 Cup Honey
• Oil for Cooking
• Salt and Pepper to taste

Instructions

 

• Mix Ginger, Herbs, Maple, bourbon, lemon juice, and a little oil, salt and pepper. Marinate the scallops in this mix for about an hour.
• Peel and Cut Celery Root and Yams into 1 inch Pieces. Boil in salted water, in separate pans until soft (They cook at different rates). Drain both well. Place celery root in food processor. Pulse and mix until smooth, scraping down sides as needed. Add in the yams, continue processing until smooth and mixed well. Add in honey, butter, salt, and pepper. Place in a pan to reheat when needed.
• Make the slaw: Julienne the vegetables and apples into 1 inch strips. Mix the cider vinegar, dijon, maple, salt and pepper, drizzle in the oil while whisking until the dressing becomes emulsified. Mix all ingredients together. Set aside until needed.
• Heat a little oil in a saute pan over medium high heat. Remove the scallops from the marinade. Save the marinade. Sear the scallops about 2 minutes per side until golden brown. Add the marinade to the pan and cook another minute or two until the scallops are completely cooked. Remove the scallops and continue reducing the marinade until it becomes a glaze.
• Reheat the yam/celery root mix. Place on a plate. Top with the scallops. Brush or drizzle the glaze over the scallops. Then top with the slaw. Serve immediately.

Keyword Apple Slaw, Bourbon, Celery Root, Glazed, Maple, Scallops