Things that you did

Do you stop and ponder The things that you did or didn’t do? Is your head filled with a laundry list of would have, should have, could haves? Collectively, these ruminations are the collective regrets that haunt us and interfere with our pursuit of happiness. Well, today is your day to put those regrets behind you. It’s toss away the “could haves” and “should haves” day. You probably remember Marlon Brando’s famous scene in “On the Waterfront” when he laments “I could have been a contender”. This resonates with us all because it touches the pathos of everyone’s humanity. We all dwell on the past to a certain degree. But, regrets are only useful if we use them as tools for learning.
Should haves and could haves are the things alternate realities are made of. What if I took that job out west? What if I asked Emily Kane out in 8th grade? What if I didn’t skip school all those times in high school? What if I went to that expensive school instead of state University? What if, what if, what if? In books and movies, you can explore all the possibilities of the results of all these actions. But, in real life, you don’t get do overs. You make that choice. You walk that path you chose. There are no what ifs anymore. You made your choice. You live with it. The only purpose for the what if is the next decision. I chose the easy path last time, with mixed results. What if I make a different choice this time in a similar situation?
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You can’t change Things that you did
That time you lost your temper and treated someone unfairly. You can’t change that. But, you can learn from it. And, you can change your behavior in the future. That time you voted for a lying politician who ruined millions of lives. You can’t change your vote But, you can vote differently in the future. That time you turned down a job offer because it seemed to good to be true, or, the time you took a job offer that was too good to be true. You now know enough to do research on prospective employers. could haves and should haves don’t have to be toxic. But, the way we treat them tends to be. Learn from your mistakes, yes. But, don’t let them box you in.
Despite what many think, destiny is in your own hands. Every decision has a consequence. Did you get the best job? What is the best job? It’s the one that’s right for you. What if you went for it and tried to date or marry a super model or that Tyrone Powers looking actor? Ten years later, your living in a hellish nightmare of that person’s making. You do what’s best for you. So what if you don’t have a multi-million dollar mansion or authored a dozen best selling books? You did what you did. Now move on. You can make new decisions and try new things. What’s that? You’re too old to start over? Poppycock! Besides, what is the measure of success: What society tells you or what you make it out to be? Kwitcherbitchin’ and get on with your life.
Do that thing you want to do
Of course there are physical limitations to everything. A 60 year old man can’t play the part of a teenage boy in a contemporary rom-com. That ship sailed. But, it doesn’t mean you can’t do something similar. And, no, you can’t be the starting quarterback for the New England patriots at that age either. Just know you aren’t restrained by what you could have or should have done. The things that you did or didn’t do are not impediments, they are instructive. If they are impeding your progress, today is your day: Toss them out like yesterday’s trash.
As a chef, I hear this all the time. I should have learned to cook batter. I could have gone to culinary school. I burned down 3 houses, so never stepped foot in a kitchen again. Maybe that last one was a sign? Still, one of the main reasons I have this blog is to inspire and help people past these stumbling blocks. Yes, you can cook. Forgive your past failures and relax. Every living thing consumes some form of food. You can make food that looks good, tastes good, and is good for you.
Cooking as a metaphor for life
You may say, well, that’s fine that you can make me overcome my Mageirocophobia AKA fear of kitchens. But, what does that do for my life and the career in movies and politics I failed at? Ah, Grasshopper, They are one and the same. Cooking is life. Everything you do in the kitchen and the dishes themselves are a metaphor for life. When life is messy, we clean it up, just like cleaning a pot or plate. Scrape away those regrets, and move on. I have always said life is like a salad and we are the toppings and flavors. You start with a base (lettuce or the person). Add vegetables or fruits (life experience). Top or toss with sauces or dressings (learn from life and reap rewards).
When you cook something, how long it’s in the heat, the color, texture, and flavor combinations are all decisions similar to life choices. Embrace the decisions and accept the final product. And, if it comes out different than expected, change the name. Burnt caramel ice cream is pretty tasty. The same applies to life. Maybe you don’t have an ESQ, PHD, or MD after your name. Or, maybe you do. Does that make you a good or bad person, a success or failure? No. Every person chooses a path. And, your path (and all its offshoots) are what make you you. Degrees, accolades, and accomplishments don’t make the person, they denote a profession. You do you. So, start by practicing with these recipes, all the while thinking on how these are like life. And, remember, lettuce has no regrets. See the lettuce… Be the lettuce…
Local baby Greens with Summer vegetables and Herbed Vinaigrette
Ingredients
- 4 handfuls Local baby Greens
- 1/2 cup Sliced seedless cucumber
- 1/2 cup Heirloom Baby tomatoes cut in 1/2
- 1/4 cup Julienne Red Onion
- Any other seasonal vegetable (optional)
- For the Dressing
- 1/4 cup honey
- 1 cup Champagne Vinegar (or white wine. May substitute any type of wine vinegar)
- 1 tsp chopped shallot
- 1/2 tsp fresh chopped garlic
- 1/4 cup chopped fresh herbs (assorted)
- 1 tsp dijon mustard
- 1 cup Olive oil
- Salt and pepper to taste
Instructions
- Make the dressing. Put all ingredients except oil in a blender. Turn on low. Then turn up to high speed. Add in the oil while the machine is running until the dressing becomes creamy and emulsified. Set aside.
- Cut all your vegetables and either serve in a bowl tossed with the dressing or arranged artfully and served with dressing on the side.
Edamame, Avocado, and Feta Salad
Ingredients
- 1 cup shelled cooked edamame
- 1 cup shave red onion
- 1/2 cup baby tomatoes cut in 1/2
- 1 cup diced fresh avocado
- 4 cups baby greens
- 1/2 cup cubed or crumbled feta cheese
- For dressing:
- 1/4 cup honey
- 1/2 cup Lemon or lime juice
- 1/2 cup White wine vinegar
- 1 tsp dijon mustard
- 1 cup avocado oil
- Salt and Pepper to taste
Instructions
- Make the dressing: Put all ingredients except oil in a blender. Turn on the blender and bring up to high speed. While it is running, add in the oil in a slow steady drizzle until it forms a nice emulsion.
- Toss all ingredients in a bowl and coat evenly with dressing. You probably won't need all the dressing. Alternatively, assemble the salad so all ingredients can be seen and serve the dressing on the side.
Corriander Seared Scallops on Pureed hearts of Palm with Asparagus Salad
Ingredients
- Extra Virgin Olive oil
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- 1 large Can hearts of palm
- 1/2 Cup Diced Shallot
- 1 tsp Chopped Fresh garlic
- 1 tsp Chopped Fresh Ginger
- 1 Cup heavy Cream or Cream of Coconut
- 1/2 tsp Coriander powder
- For Scallops
- 1 to 1 1/2 Lb large Sea scallops size 20/30 or larger
- 2 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Cilantro
- 1/2 tsp Ground Coriander
- 1/2 tsp Cumin, ground
- 1/2 tsp Chopped Fresh garlic
- For Asparagus Salad:
- 1 Bunch Asparagus
- 1/2 Cup Thin Sliced Red Onion
- 1/4 Cup Julienne Red Pepper
- 1 Tbsp Chopped Fresh Dill
- 1 Medium Lemon
Instructions
- Prep the Asparagus Salad: Cut the Asparagus into 1 to 2 inch lengths. Blanch in Boiling salted water until al dente. Cool down in iced or cold water.. Drain well. Cut the rest of your vegetables. Toss all ingredients with a the juice of 1/2 a lemon, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Keep chilled until service. Don't make too far in advance or the acid from the lemon will discolor the asparagus.
- Make The Puree: heat a light coating of olive oil over medium high heat in a heavy gauge pot. Add in the shallot, garlic and ginger. Saute until translucent and aromatic. Rough chop, and Add in the Hearts of Palm and coriander powder. Stir. Then add the cream. Bring to a simmer and reduce. Stir as needed. Reduce the liquid until it becomes a coating. Then, remove from heat and puree in a food processor until smooth. Return to the pot to heat at service time.
- Sear the scallops. Mix the seasonings and herbs in a little olive oil and the juice from the other half lemon. Add in the scallops and toss until well coated. Refrigerate 1 hour before cooking. To cook, heat a saute pan over high heat. Add in the scallops in a single layer. Sear each side until nicely browned, about 2 minutes per side. Cook a little longer if needed to cook all the way through. Actual cooking time will vary depending on the thickness of the scallops. They will become firm to the touch and shrink a bit.
- Plate the dish: Gently re-heat the puree. It doesn't have to be screaming hot, but warm enough. Make a line of the puree. Top it with the scallops. Then put the asparagus salad around or on top of the Scallops. Drizzle the extra juice from the salad over the scallops. Serve immediately.