Don’t Pass Me By
This week marks the celebration of Passover throughout the Hebrew world. Ironically, Passover predates Easter by about 1,200 years; but, Easter is all you hear about in pop culture and the commercialized world at large. Both are myths founded on suspect history. So, is it an anti-Semitic ploy to laud one groups folklore over the other? Or, is it the Jewish people having more class and reverence than the Christians with their god-awful marshmallow peeps and gaudy hats? And, let’s not forget the insipid Easter parade. So, when you’re strolling down the avenue, Don’t Pass Me By because I’m not buying any of it.
Both celebrations coincide with the beginning of Spring. But, they take decidedly different tones. One is a celebration of life. And, the other is a mourning for suffering. Unfortunately, for the Tribes of Canaan, Their songs aren’t as catchy. maybe that’s why the Christian celebration is more prevalent. Would you rather hear Bing Crosby croon “In your Easter bonnet” or some balding Randy Rainbow wannabe singing Dayenu? Again, we have a 1,000 year old song losing out to one written in the 1930’s. In reality, people like to feel good about themselves and others. So, a celebration of rebirth, love, and life after death will beat out misery and torment any day of the week. And, the struggle of the Jewish people lasted centuries. Conversely, Jesus was captured, killed, and rose from the dead in 3 days. In reality, it’s just a failure of marketing.
Table of Contents
Don’t Pass Me By at the Equinox
The historical accuracy of all your major holidays is up for debate. While the Bible, Torah, haggadah, Veda, and many others celebrate major occurrences, they all have through-lines that intersect with astronomical phenomena manifest in seasonal changes. In fact, the Hebrew calendar is based on Lunar months. Even the Gregorian calendar (which is the standard the world runs on) follows the sun. So, throughout the year, religious celebrations use an historical figure as a symbol of that time of year. So, each equinox and solstice correspond with multiple religious observances. Christmas, Ramadan, and Chanukkah all mark the winter solstice. And, Easter, Passover, and Vesak all mark the first harvest of the spring season. In temperate zones like Europe and Israel, You would plant crops in march. And, the first ones would be ready about 40 days later. If 40 days sounds familiar, there is a reason.
Crops like lettuce, radishes, and spring onions would be ready to eat a lunar cycle or two after equinox. Is this a coincidence? And, if you look at all these holidays (with the exception of Christmas), none have a set date. That is because weather patterns and lunar cycles vary. The Hebrew Calendar makes adjustments every 3 years to compensate for these variances. And, the Gregorian calendar has leap years every 4. So, doesn’t that make the sun more important than Jesus, Buddah, Moses, Mohamed, or Vishnu? Once again, it’s all about marketing. Who’s saint, martyr, or deity is more potent or important? That is up to the believer. Maybe Moses should say: don’t pass me by when it comes to celebrating spring.
Who is right?
We will leave that decision to the reader. To put a religious or philosophical note to the discussion: all are right and all are wrong at once. As we have seen in recent years: truth is in the eye of the beholder. Religion and observance of religious holidays is meant to bring meaning and order to a universe beyond one’s control. So, Deus Ex Machina as raison d’etre allows one to observe the natural order of the universe without being overcome by the sheer incomprehensibility of infinity. We need boundaries and symbols to create order from chaos. This is what religion does.
Sometimes limiting oneself is the only way to move forward. If you sat down to compare and contrast each religion, you would find good and bad in all. Such an exercise could take years, even lifetimes. So, to move on with life, it is expedient to pick one and run with it. But, remember it’s not the only one.
When it comes to “who is right”, there is no actual answer. But, we can look at the history of each holiday to determine its validity. Sorry to all you religions saying “don’t pass me by”; we need to focus on one today. Being Passover, that is our focus.
Did Moses say “don’t pass me by?”
For those of you not familiar with the story of Passover, it dates back to around 1,400 BC. But, the origins predate that by another 2 or 3 hundred years. According to interpretations of the old testament, Joseph was “blessed by God.” He amassed a “family” of followers whom he brought to Egypt to escape famine. He was a beloved leader of the Jewish people. But, he still answered to Pharaoh who ruled all the people of Egypt. They had an amicable arrangement. And, all was well for a number of years. But, after Joseph and the Pharaoh passed, things weren’t so hunky dory. The new Pharaoh enslaved the Jewish people. This isn’t something that happened overnight. By the time Moses came on the scene a couple centuries had passed.
Moses was supposedly blessed by God, and tasked with freeing the Jewish people from bondage. After asking Pharaoh to free his people to no effect; Moses invoked the power of God via “Deus Ex Machina”. What followed was a series of plagues:
water turning to blood, frogs, lice, flies, livestock pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness and the killing of firstborn children.
The Passover comes in with the death of the first born children. The angel of death swept through Egypt. But, it would “pass over” houses marked with Lamb’s blood applied by Moses and his followers.
This was enough for Pharaoh’s generals to allow the Jews Passage out of Egypt. But, Pharaoh changed his mind and went after them. That is when Moses parted the red sea to open an escape path for his people and drown the Egyptian army in the retreating water behind them.
BS or not?
While this story sounds amazing and allows people to put absolute belief in God, is it historically accurate? Believers will swear by it. But, scholars and scientists have answers for what really occurred. Is it BS or not?
First, historians and researchers have no evidence or written record of anyone named Joseph in Egypt at the time he supposedly migrated there. And, even if there was, how would he rise in Egyptian ranks to become the number 2 leader of the country? That would be like Putin making Joe Biden his Vice president. Come on Man…
The plagues can all be explained through science. To believe an invisible hand of God came down to intervene in the affairs of men is fantastical. So, is ancient alien theory. A researcher by the name of John Marr purported a series of explanations in 1996 that make more sense than deities intervening on behalf of a particular group of humans. His theory posits that the plagues were caused by dinoflagellates. These are a type of red algae in the water. So, the Nile running red with blood was actually red tide. This algae killed off fish. And, this led to frogs leaving the water and dying on the land. This attracted flies and other insects carrying disease. These flies and gnats landed on livestock and people causing sores, boils, and, a lot of animals dying. A hail storm destroyed crops. Locusts flew in to eat the destroyed crops.
And then?
And, let’s not forget we are in a desert area. Theorists say that a sandstorm created the 3 days of darkness. That would also destroy the crops and leave them with mold and rot that is toxic to humans and animals.
As for the first born sons thing, Grains like wheat were the main staples in the region. Thanks to customs from the Jewish religion, keeping a clean pantry was customary. part of that entails using up winter stores before refilling your pantry. So, those moldy crops wouldn’t have been in Jewish households at that time. But, the Egyptians, especially the elites would dine on the freshest crops. And, first born sons were considered the most valuable members of the family. So, they would get the largest portions of food. The result would be the ingestion of the greatest amount of toxins by the first borns.
How about that Red Sea?
There have been a number of explanations for this: From a long sandbar to wind. One of the most plausible was published within the last decade. According to the theory: first, it wasn’t the red sea that they crossed. Archeological evidence points to the lake of Tanis on the Nile Delta. This makes sense because that is where they came from. The theory states that easterly winds can cause the water from one area of the lake to shift to another leaving one side completely passable; while, creating a huge storm on the other side. They call this a “wind setdown”. And, it is something that occurs to this day. In fact it has happened recently in Lake Erie and the Nile Delta itself.
As for Moses and the burning bush, there are multiple theories. It could be “earthquake lights” where earthquakes cause light to emit from rocks that will illuminate a tree or bush. Or, it could be the Dictamnus albus plant native to North Africa that “exudes volatile oils” that can make a plant appear to be burning. Then again, it could just be Moses and his friends taking ayahuasca, an hallucinogenic. That will not only get you seeing things, but hearing the “voice of god.”
Then there are the tablets carved by the finger of God. Conveniently, Moses smashed them. And, we don’t have any remnants of the actual tablets. HHHMMMM. Destruction of evidence is a federal crime son…
Don’t pass me by if you’re dispelling myths
Don’t think we are picking on one group in particular here. As mentioned above, we can debate the pros, cons, validity, and plausibility of all religions for years to come. So, don’t think we haven’t considered debunking other groups. But, again, we are looking at Passover here. So, don’t get your panties all up in a bunch. Remember, these are all just theories. But, at least they are based in measurable phenomena. Belief in the biblical explanations is based on the prime mover principle: “that which we cannot explain, we attribute to God”.
This isn’t to say one religion is better or worse than another. And, it doesn’t dispel the existence of God. Through the millennia we have evolved to understand and explain things. People used to think Thunder meant the gods must be angry. Just because we know what weather is, doesn’t mean there isn’t a Superior intelligence or supreme being. But, we don’t have to take physical occurrences as a manifestation of “god’s will.” And, thinking that we are the most important thing in an ever-expanding universe is pretty narcissistic.
Passing it back to Passover
So, getting back to Passover, whether or not you believe in these stories, the memorialization of a struggle, and the hope of renewed success and invigoration are always noble ideals. So, let’s celebrate the triumph of a proud and resilient people at this time. If you have ever been to a Seder dinner, you will know that this is what the ceremony is about. The several items on the Seder plate represent different aspects of the struggle. While there are prayers and readings mentioning god, the food tells a secular story of struggle and triumph. While the traditional Seder plate comprises separate ingredients, we would like to propose a menu incorporating all these items into the meal. After all, to waste is a sin. And, most people don’t really eat the items on the Seder plate (least of all, enjoy them).
Granted, you aren’t supposed to “enjoy” them. It’s unleavened bread, bitter herbs, bones, burnt eggs, and the “tears” of the people. But, if you think eating a lousy meal is going to make you appreciate the suffering and struggle of ancient peoples, you are deluded. That’s like saying you’re roughing it by vacationing at a Hampton Inn. You aren’t reliving any struggle. So, why not enjoy the ingredients?
What’s on the plate?
The traditional Seder plate has 8 ingredients:
- beitzah (Hard Cooked Egg)
- maror (Bitter Herb, horseradish)
- Charoset (Chopped apples, nuts, and wine)
- Karpas (Spring greens or parsley)
- Chazeret (Lettuce, usually romaine)
- Zeroah (Roasted Bone)
- Matzo (unleavened bread, more like a cracker)
- Salted water
Each represents a struggle faced by the Jewish people. The Seder dinner is not a “chew and Screw” event. Each of these ingredients is explained in detail. Songs are sung, stories told, and prayers recited. It’s an hours long event. Maybe that’s part of the reason it’s not as popular as other “rites of Spring.” Modern generations would rather have passive entertainment like TV and the internet than reading and oral tradition. Plus, it’s not really a fun story. Hollywood gave us one of the most entertaining versions of the story in 1956’s “The Ten Commandments”. Ironically, Moses was played by a Christian. I guess there weren’t enough Jews in Hollywood at the time…
The Meal
So, while the seder plate is an important part of the meal. Let’s combine the ingredients in to a meal we can all enjoy:
- Braised lamb Osso Bucco with Charoset
- Parslied Horseradish mashed Potatoes
- Romaine and Matzo Fatoush Salad with Hard Boiled Eggs
We would also recommend serving whatever fresh vegetables are available at your local market with the meal. This time of year, asparagus is usually plentiful and approaching its peak. Simply toss with olive oil, salt and pepper, and roast in a 400 degree oven for a few minutes.
About the dishes:
Osso Bucco is a lamb shank, cross cut from the leg, so it has the bone in the middle. There are also veal and beef versions available. But, Lamb is more appropriate for this occasion. You may have to go to a specialty store or butcher to find them.
Most Charosets use walnuts. We wanted to jazz it up a little. So, we incorporate Pistachios and dates for a slightly different take. You can change out ingredients all you want. Try adding apricots, figs, or even dried cranberries.
The potatoes are a simple dish. Our version here is vegan to avoid Kosher issues. It incorporates a couple elements from the seder plate including being cooked in salt water.
The Fatoush salad is a variation of the middle eastern/Mediterranean classic. It is usually made with pita. But, we substitute matzo for Passover. And, we garnish with a boiled egg (to simulate the seder plate).
Mazel Tov!
Braised lamb Osso Bucco with Charoset
Ingredients
- 4 Each Lamb shanks, about 8 oz to a pound each
- 1/2 Cup Chopped Onion
- 1/2 Cup Chopped carrot
- 1/2 Cup Chopped Celery
- 4 each garlic cloves
- 4 stems Fresh Rosemary
- 1 each bay Leaf
- 2 Cup Kosher wine
- 1 Gallon Lamb or beef stock
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- olive oil for cooking
- 1 Cup Charoset (recipe to follow)
Instructions
- Heat stock in a large pot. Bring to a simmer while you start cooking the lamb shanks.
- Using a large deep pan (preferably a rondeau), Heat a little olive oil over high heat. Put the lamb shanks in the oil and brown well. Cook about 5 minutes on one side, then turn and do the other side for another 5 minutes. You want a good caramelization.
- Add the vegetables and garlic. Cook for a couple minutes until softened, stirring as needed. Then add the rosemary and bay leaf.
- Add the red wine and bring to a boil. Cook down until half the volume of the liquid is gone.
- Add the stock. Bring to a boil, then taper back to a simmer. Cover the pot. You want the liquid lightly bubbling, but not rolling. Let it cook over low heat for about an hour. Check the tenderness of the lamb shanks. They should have some give, but, not fall off the bone. Continue cooking until they are done. Depending on the temperature, this can take up to 2 hours.
- When the meat is tender enough, it will yield to a fork. Remove from the liquid. Then strain the liquid to remove the vegetables and make a smooth sauce. Return the sauce to a pot and reduce until it thickens. It should thicken naturally from the collagen in the sauce. If it is still too thin, take about a tablespoon of cornstarch, mix it with cold water, then whisk it into the sauce to thicken. Then season. You are ready to serve. Place the lamb on a plate with a good lip. Ladle the sauce over and top with charoset. Serve with potatoes and vegetables.
Pistachio Charoset
Ingredients
- 1 Cup Diced Fresh Apple (Gala, fuji, or honeycrisp)
- 1/2 Cup Chopped Pistachio meats
- 1/4 Cup Kosher red wine
- 1/4 Cup Chopped Dried Dates
- 1/4 Cup Honey
- 1/2 tsp Cinnamon powder
- 1/2 tsp Lemon Zest
- 1/2 tsp Lemon juice
Instructions
- Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Mix well. Then cover and refrigerate for about an hour. Then it is ready to serve.
Parslied Horseradish mashed Potatoes
Ingredients
- 2 Lb Peeled and quartered Yukon Gold Potatoes
- 1/4 Cup Fresh grated Horseradish root (or 1/2 cup prepared horseradish)
- 1 Cup Chopped Fresh Parsley
- 1/2 Cup Almond or coconut milk
- 1/2 Cup Olive oil
- Kosher Salt and Pepper to taste
Instructions
- Boil the potatoes in salted water until tender. Strain well. Then mash with a hand masher, through a food mill, or in a mixer. Add in the rest of the ingredients. Mix well, and season to taste. Serve hot.
Romaine and Matzo Fatoush Salad with Hard Boiled Eggs
Ingredients
- 4 large Eggs
- 1 head Romaine Lettuce
- 2 Pieces matzo
- 1 Cup Seedless cucumber, cubed
- 1 Cup Grape tomatoes cut in 1/2
- 1/4 Cup Thin sliced Red Onion
- 1/4 Cup Thin sliced Radishes
- 1/4 Cup Picked Parsley leaves
- 1 large Lemon
- 1 Cup Extra Virgin Olive oil
- 1/4 Cup White wine vinegar
- Kosher Salt and Pepper to taste
- 2 Tbsp Honey
- 1/2 tsp Cumin
- 1/2 tsp Chopped Fresh garlic
- 1 tsp Dijon Mustard
Instructions
- Boil the eggs: Place eggs in a pan of salted water. Bring to a boil. When they are at a rolling boil, turn off the heat and let them sit covered for 10 minutes. Then, remove from the hot water, and cool in ice water or under running cold water. Carefully peel the skins. Then cut each egg lengthwise into 4 wedges. Refrigerate until ready to assemble salad.
- Make the dressing: Cut the lemon in 1/2. Squeeze out the juice into a bowl. Add the vinegar, honey, cumin, Dijon, and garlic. Begin whisking. Drizzle in the olive oil until an emulsified dressing forms. Season to taste
- Break the matzo into 1 to 2 inch pieces. Toss all ingredients, except dressing and eggs in a mixing bowl. Then add in the dressing a little at a time until the whole salad is well coated. You can serve extra dressing on the side if you want. Slice the remaining half of lemon and garnish the salad with Eggs and lemon slices either in a bowl or individual plates.